Dating and the consequences of your actions*

* Or why not to settle for fish & chips

Going on three months in Miami. It's been a strange mix of times. Something akin to Cheap Trick's song "Surrender". You know the tune. It goes something like:

"Mother told me, yes, she told me i'd meet girls like you.
She also told me, "stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch."
Just the other day i heard a soldier falling off some indonesian junk that's going round.
Mommy's alright, daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away, ay, ay, ay."

Yeah, that's my life as of late. Make time for dating and what I find might as well be some Indonesian junk... No really... Three continents full of rubbish. I mean, yeah I've met quality women, but they've not been interested. And the one who has been is still in Brazil. Yeah, women are fun. It's one of my daily gripes and reasons for living. If they didn't drive me so crazy, I don't know who would be so successful. I can certainly say as an experienced single man, that Brazil is no place to go if you are:

1. Even mildly naive
2. Unable to say 'no' to a beautiful woman, regardless of the consequences
3. Suffer from bouts of druelling due to the quality of women in the vicinity

I can say this about my experiences in Brazil:
1. It's the only place where I've been able to ask the most beautiful woman in the room to dance and she said yes.
2. It's the only place where I've been asked to dance by the most beautiful woman in the room.
3. It's the only place where items 1 & 2 occured on successive evenings out.
4. It's the only place where I've been caught off guard and savagely groped by a kissing nurse.
5. Said nurse in item 4 was also said person in item 2.
6. Said nurse left me with her number and e-mail address to "get in touch" next time I'm in Brazil.

And people wonder why I fell in love with Brazil. It's kind of like an "All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet" of women. You know, sort of like all shapes and sizes to be seen and danced with.

Back to the future. I so enjoy my travels. It's like being in a resturant that serves gourmet cuisine from various countries. With so much selection, it's no wonder I've grown rather passive to the daily fare available stateside. I mean it's like fish and chips compared to Jamie Oliver offering to cook for the evening. Why settle for the blandness of fish & chips when you can sample from that 5-star menu? I mean there is the occasional deep-fried Mars Bar stateside, but they are about as rare as finding a parking spot in Oxford Circus right next to the shops the first time round...

Questions, comments? You know where you can reach me to tell me just how off my rocker I am.